Sibling Rivalry

I just read a GREAT blog post about sibling fighting.  Anne does a fantastic job of giving Biblical background for the principles we live.  I am, unfortunately, not as well versed in my - um - verse.

The unfortunate fact is that sibling fighting DOES happen, that is certain, and when I need to get involved, I do my best to encourage them to look at the situation from the other's perspective and really try to imagine how the other feels.  It has helped them to be empathetic to not only each-others' feelings, but also those of their friends.  I think that may be one of the reasons why our daughter got involved in anti-genocide activism when she was 8 years old.

For my kids, arguing seems to stem from an inability to see things from another's point of view.  When they forget that there are many ways of viewing the same thing, I take them to a room in the house and tell them to look, REALLY look, at the room.  Then I take them out of the room and have them each describe, in front of the other, 'exactly' what the room looked like to them.  After they are done, I remind them that it was the same room they were both looking at, yet they saw it differently.  It seems to help......

I was on a two week road trip with my father and my 12 year old twin nephews and my children as we moved from Minnesota to Virginia.  By the third full day of driving, the kids were all at each-other's throats and on my nerves (what can I say?  I am human, too.)  I do not tolerate my children treating each other badly.  I think that is one of the worst offenses in our home (that and lying).  I am really curious to know if there are any studies done on sibling relationships within homeschooling families versus public schooled kids.  My father had said on our trip that "siblings treat each other the worst."  Is that really the norm?  Is that really the way God intended?  I really doubt it.

I heard somewhere that Third World Countries - where the kids spend much time together and in the family - have less sibling rivalry and virtually no "teenage rebellion".  Is that because they are less educated or perhaps because they do not have all the things that distract us from the Truth?

Points for consideration:
1 Jn 4:16 - ...God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.
1 Jn 4:19 - We love because he first loved us.
1 Jn 4:20-21 - If anyone says, "I love God," but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.  This is the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.